On Waiting…

I am tired of waiting.

There are many things in my life that I am currently waiting for: my birthday, my tax return, dinner… But more importantly, I’m waiting for answers. I mentioned last week that I applied and interviewed to serve as a NET missionary for the next school year (You can read more about NET on their website http://www.netusa.org/). I was told I would have an answer within two weeks and it has been a week and two days… So I’m waiting. They send a letter regardless of if you’ve been accepted or not, and I just want mine to get here!

The response from NET is actually important. If I don’t get accepted, then I will have to figure out where I’m going to be living and working next year. I hate feeling like I am in the lurch because I don’t have any control.

Isn’t that always the way?

The crazy thing is that I DO have control. I was given free will. I may not be able to guarantee one way or the other what I am doing, but I made the decision to apply, I made the decision to relocated to Dallas, I make decisions each and every day, many of which are not the choices that I know God would want me to be making. I do my best, but I fail consistently and daily.

The thing that I am doing best is being impatient and deciding to do nothing instead of making productive decisions. Like I said, I make decisions all day, everyday, but often, my decision is to watch tv by myself in my bedroom (case in point- I started this post over an hour ago), and not do anything else. Meanwhile, my bedroom is a mess, my laundry remains undone, I put school off until the last minute. All because I’m waiting for my life to happen.

I am not seeking… well, anything. I’m not seeking friendship, hobbies, etc. because I just want them to appear because God wants to give them to me. I am afraid to pray about my future because I am afraid of what God may say. Which is stupid. God wants me in Heaven with Him when I die, so His will for me while I am on the earth is ordered towards that.

Whatever happens with NET, will happen because God wills it. I just need to be proactive in figuring out a plan.

Like my mom told me: Circumstances don’t define you. YOU define you and if you submit your will to God’s, then He defines you. What more are you looking for? What else could you do?

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Let's Chat!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s